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Healing
Stories
Nursing a
Broken Wing Back to Life
January 2012
I found a broken
wing. In the myriad of healing
opportunities I had this month
I became aware of how much my
right arm wants to stay clamped
to my side. I felt somatically
how difficult it was to extend
this arm and accept the reach
of another. My deeply rooted
story of not being held, seen
and loved returned this new
year.
Of course, it was with my teacher
Ana Forrest that I had an chance
to shift. Late this month, near
the end of our practice we all
were playing with inversions.
Ana held her partner Gary as
he navigated a handstand with
lotus legs and, while in the
pose, pumped his pretzel legs
down and up. To be honest, seeing
this amazing pose and movement
I froze. If you were to hear
my thoughts at that moment,
you might have heard something
like: "Maybe in the next
lifetime ..."
And then Ana
looked at me - her eagle eye
sparkling mischievously. "Your
turn," she said. So I put
my hands down, kicked up, did
half lotus (scar tissue has
to be honored) and ... thrashed.
My head screamed: "I can't!"
I crashed down. Ana kindly reminded
me how strong I was and talked
to me a bit about how this was
my "chasing-the-dragon"
moment. The dragon was the old
story of having to collapse
when putting myself in the hands
of another.
I needed a break from the dragon:
I let Ana's words seep in as
I did Chest Opener on the Wall.
When I felt more in my body
I asked to her to help me try
again. I spoke out loud to her
how much I trusted her, how
I know I could trust her because
she's supported me so well this
past decade. I guess some part
of me had to name it: Some part
of me had to acknowledge that
it wasn't the pose, it was trusting
someone else.
I got UP and
IN and went down and up, down
and up with those half lotus
legs. I came triumphantly out
of the pose and hugged her letting
the space in my right wing quiver
through. I thanked Ana for being
there to catch me and coax me
lovingly into another layer
of healing.
I was reminded again that in
building courage to feel, I
built courage and ability to
heal. I'm still giving space
for the new paradigm to be felt
inside: I am trustworthy. I
have many people I can trust
in my life. I can trust.
Quote
of the Month:
"How did the rose ever
open its heart and give to this
world all its Beauty? It felt
the encouragement of light against
its being. Otherwise we all
remain too frightened."
-- Hafizife
Aho!
Colleen
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